Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
