he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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