Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
