Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
