Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
