i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
