I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
only you would photoshop your dick
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
