even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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