It's Friday. Sex?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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