Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize