She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
