I heard we made out
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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