she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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