people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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