No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
