Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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