Sry I called you an 8
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
