Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
