So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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