3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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