I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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