You really coming over, don't trick.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
