i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Randomize
