I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
