Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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