Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
