I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
