if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
