But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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