it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
