why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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