i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
