I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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