my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
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I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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