I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
