i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize