You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
