Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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