Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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