I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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