Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it glows. i had to have it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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