I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
