Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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