I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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