I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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