It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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