just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
