I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
