White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
