I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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