Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
