Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
