In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
