We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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