I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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