i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
