I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
