Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
