He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
