We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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