She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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