I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
