I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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