You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I got inside last night via doggy door
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize