I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
