He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
