They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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