Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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