You're completely useless in the revolution.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
