i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
